Thursday, January 22, 2009

Yep, just call me Miss Softie McPushoverpants

Today I am sitting here with 2 kids at home instead of just the one toddler. Julia managed to wrangle a day out of school from me this morning. Well, wrangle is a strong word. She flashed those baby blues at me, moaned a bit, moped a lot, fell apart while brushing her teeth and then totally grossed me out by showing me the super loose tooth that is just barely hanging on there in her mouth. She begged to stay home and since I think I had thrown up in my mouth a little I nodded yes.

I didn't actually throw up but it could have happened. I do not handle teeth or tooth issues very well. Seems strange with my love of the body and all it's processes but make it a mouth problem or getting your ears pierced and I am just not the chick to take with you. Oh, I also fall apart if I see anyone putting tinfoil in their mouth. Man, I'm giving you guys all the ammo needed if you ever want to attack me. Crunch chips in my ear and then wiggle your loose tooth at me while chewing on some tinfoil like it's a wad of chaw. AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH just the thought puts a metallic taste in my mouth.

Before having kids with Bryan I sort of thought that I would need to be the one to hand out discipline and that he would be the softie. There are occasions when this happens but it is actually quite rare. Bryan is an awesome dad and he can be tender and silly but he can also put them in their place when needed and they listen. I do not carry as much sway with them. Sure, some of it works for me - time outs, taking away privileges or toys and the like -- but a lot of the time I get ignored until I raise my voice. Often I just give into whining because I feel their whining is more detrimental to me than what they are whining for or about. Self preservation at work here people. I'm sure many of you understand.

School absences are one area where I need to be more hard lined than my mom ever had to be but I still remember how I was as a child and it colors my ability to always hold strong. I didn't hate school really but I was a shy kid and I always would have preferred staying at home over having to interact with a bunch of loud kids that I had very little in common with. My own children have done so much better in school in that respect but they did hold onto my desire to use up all the allowable absences they are given in a school year. Unfortunately times have changed. Now you can go to jail if your kids have too many unexcused absences or are habitually late for school. There are even fines that go with that. In this school system the kids can miss a total of 14 days in a year. They are allowed only 5 excuses written by a parent. Any other absence must have a doctors excuse with it. I have a million an done reasons why this is shitty but I'll leave the complaining to the more vocal parents who are already doing so.

Being more authoritative is a goal of mine. I can be a take charge person in so many other areas. Why can't I do that with these wee beings that I love more than life itself? Perhaps it's an underlying need to always be accepted, even by people that love me unconditionally. I suspect it's somewhat genetic too. I parent in much the same way my own mom and dad (while he was alive) did. I just forget that my kids are not like me and my brother. They don't have nearly the amount of slacker in them that we do and they are always bursting with energy and the want/need/intense desire to be entertained.

Speaking of being entertained I have been looking at one of these on my desk all morning and the need to play with it is huge and my mind is drifting. Holy beeswax Batman! Caffeine is wearing off... the force is strong with this toy..... I be hypnotized. Must resist.

Slacker in me is giving in to the toy. Must see you later.

PS - I have now learned that I can do tons of different things while playing with that infernal toy. This is by far my favorite thing I got the kids for the holidays. They apparently don't care about them at all but Bryan and I can play with them for hours. It's somehow extremely soothing and becomes a zen activity after a while.

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